…But I’ve Never Been to Me

So, it occurs to me, on this little adventure of mine, that there’s not much that I encounter day to day that scares me. I suppose that’s part of the problem, right? I don’t find myself in passion-filled, life-affirming, adrenaline-pumping situations all too often. But that’s a limited view of what should scare a person. I’ve always been more afraid of the depth and breadth of my emotions than eating something weird, or exploring a new place (but heights- no. You will not find me cliff-diving or bungee jumping. Nothankyounope.).

In the hopes then, of exploring the undiscovered country of my mind (yes, English majors I know I just used Hamlet’s metaphor for death to describe my mind. Hush), I put out a couple of feeler emails about meeting with some therapists. Maybe that’s too personal, but it’s my blog, my rules. I’ve realized with the relationship transition I’m currently in, I’ve got a few self-destructive patterns to which I’d very much like to wave bye-bye. It’s nothing life shattering, and I’ve certainly done a LOT of personal work trying to figure my shit out, but I want to be ready for whatever comes next. In my 32nd year I want as little baggage as possible, because I plan to travel.

Which leads me to the fun, non-scary thing I did today: booked a flight to London! I’ll be back in one of my favorite cities this October, this time showing my mom and friend around. I haven’t been back since 2009, so I expect to find the city changed, but also, the same- it’s been there since before the Romans, some shit remains the same. As I was booking the flight it occurred to me how little I’ve traveled, especially internationally, in the past few years. I was establishing my career, I was graduating from law school, etc., etc…. well my career feels like it’s etched in granite lately, so no more excuses. I want to travel more, I have money to do so (if I’d quit fucking blowing it on cocktails and Uber…. maybe that’s a real thing that scares me…. #realtalk).

Pip pip!


3 thoughts on “…But I’ve Never Been to Me

  1. Wish you well on your journey, but please be aware ‘I’ve Never Been to Me’ is the title of the worst Pop song in the history of the known Universe.

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